just to get them out the bag

UGLY:

scruffy hair
craters (pimple scars)
mountains (pimples)
greasy
fat nose
ugly teeth
extremely yellow teeth
long chin
droopy eyes
dirty ears
too thin
sickly looking
weak
saggy ass
non existent boobs
too thin upper body
too big lower part
weird looking legs
extremely unproportionate
mutant calves
stubby, hideous legs
short
smelly big feet
fugly

tired

I'm immensely tired
tired of doing the things I don't love
tired of feeling like shit
tired of feeling incredibly ugly all the time
tired of feeling useless and weak

I'm just really tired

I want to rest...

I have discovered the power of the texture :D

my head hurts

Maybe I'm taking things too seriously...
I'm just immensely scared
And I don't know how I feel.

All I know for sure is that I'm confused to the nth degree
and I just want it all to stop

all the wondering
the guessing
the fear
the what if's
the chase
the cliff hangers
the unknown

I just want it to stop
to clean the slate
to just be friends

I"ve been fighting with myself for the past few days/weeks/I'm not so sure
for the following possible reasons:
1. I'm afraid to like Tim
2. I'm not even sure I like him that way. I don't know if I'm forcing it. It feels like that sometimes...
3. I don't want him to get hurt
4. I don't want to get hurt
5. I don't want a relationship
6. once again, I just want everything to stop and freeze
7. I just want to clear my head
8. I don't like being in a vulnerable position. The last time I allowed myself to be vulnerable to someone I ended up crying in a cab and ignored for 6 months; not counting tonight of course, which ended up with suffocated sobs and a headache.


shit


I don't know what to do


and


my head hurts


.....





Carla Bruni and Yann Tiersen
please send me to sleep

tears for the lost

I'm so confused
I want to cry

Oh wait

I already am

Just asked advice from Tan and Rina
I cried out of nowhere
and I don't know why

I've been pondering about it
and I still don't know why