finally

I did  something out of the ordinary and I willingly linked Tim to this site in which I accompanied with the words: "I think you'll like this."

It is true that I have been avoiding him, trying not to talk to him and if we did talk I'd put on a mask of indifference.
But truthfully, I'm not like that. I'm not one to keep a grudge. I just can't.
And today I decided to put aside my ego and just send him the link.
He replied back and I replied back.
The conversation was obviously a cautious one. On the edge of a cliff, trying not to look down and fall.
It was slightly awkward, true to ones we've had before :)
But strangely it felt relieving. A weight has been lifted.
I'm not escaping the fact that it was awkward but it felt good to know that I could talk to him without that looming feeling of sadness and the haunting urge to cry.
It was a good feeling.

Another thing I did that was out of the ordinary: I apologized. Out of the blue, as simple as day and night, as black and white.
It was light and awkward. True to sender I guess haha
He told me there was nothing to be sorry about.
I said that I am anyway.

It was strange and awkward with silent pauses in between.
True to fashion 'til today.

I am glad.