art

I haven't done much In my time in college that I could be truly proud of, or at least to the part that pertains to my desire of becoming a good traditional artist.
Just so no one mistakes me for an ungrateful hag, I am... grateful that is.
I've done a lot of things I am amazingly proud of. I've been doing a lot of design gigs and I'm learning a lot. I'm doing well in my classes and all. But, as usual, there's something that's missing.

Back when I was in high school I didn't exactly appreciate my talent. I despised it really. I thought it was boring, at least when set against my batch's general talent of preforming arts. I felt it was inadequate so I didn't do it much. I only did it when I was asked to, when I needed to. As I've 'matured', grown older (not necessarily wiser) I've discovered a lot about myself.
When I transitioned from high school to college, I changed drastically; I changed a lot.
All of a sudden I knew who I was and I knew what I wanted to do, and that was art.
I've never been so sure at what I wanted to do. It's as if the level of confusion I was in in high school came back to me in college, sevenfold, in clarity. Though I cannot boast of the completeness of that clarity; I think no one ever really achieves completeness of clarity, not until one is wise and mature, which I'm not sure everyone achieves. Anyway, I just knew I wanted to be an artist.
Strangely I've always known, ever since I was young. But it was only in college did I feel it in my blood, in my mind and in my heart. I wanted to do this. Not because I had the talent for it, but because I loved it, because I was infatuated with it.

Now I'm yearning for more, traditional that is :P I find it pleasing to find that I've grown out of that phase of not wanting to do traditional. Not to be confused that I don't love digital and graphic design, I do, really, but I like to believe that I've always been a traditional artist. I've been drawing for as long as I can remember. And I know I liked it. I hated it at one point, yes, but I liked it still. If I didn't then I wouldn't be in an art school :P

So now I have that itch to draw and paint and create, yet finding myself with full minutes and computers.
I'm just hoping that my hopes of having a surge of creativity after college, where I'm planning to have a hiatus aka bum period, will come true.

I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT IT WON"T HAPPEN.


and can I just say, I think I'm very much into that phrase: I refuse to believe ____place negative vibes here___.
I dunno, it seems to pick me up every time :)


another thing, I think I need to start writing again. I feel as if I suck. haha
wulu lunggg