speak

this year I’m planning to make a video blog diary.

I’ve never been the one to talk
nor the one to jump in front of a camera
but I think it will do me good.

I’ve always kept everything inside of me,
or at least the things that matter,
or at least I think they matter.

I’ll still continue to write
but i think there is something cathartic
about speaking out,

of releasing,

of letting go.

It’ll be healthier.

Plus, I think speaking out will enable me to harness my speech.
Like I've said before, I'm not one to talk.
I've always felt a little strange talking out loud and in long periods of time.
Probably because I'm used to staying in my head then out.
I hope with this blog I gain better footing in my communication skills.

I want to be able to converse better and in a more intelligent manner.
But before I do that I need to learn how to talk.
I mean you can't exactly run if you can't stand.
Baby steps is the way to go.

I'm planning to get a pocket dictionary over the weekend, maybe even a thesaurus.
I really want to get better at this. I want to speak my sister, like Rina.
I don't want to second guess my intelligence just because I can't say what I think.
I want to be as intelligent as Ezra Miller.
Ok, maybe that's quite far fetched but I at least want to get my point across;
something I think I can't do very much.
I'm often nervous when I talk because, admittedly, I'm not used to it.
My life has been spent more in silence than with the spoken word.

I want speak out.
It's about time I did.