i am my greatest enemy

When I look in the mirror i can never seem to be satisfied. To tell you frankly... it sucks.
I hate looking at my pictures because i know i'll just disappoint myself.
Actually just being disappointed by how i look disappoints me, but i can't seem to stop.

I am my own killing machine.

My own critic.

My own enemy.

I'm sick and tired of it.

When i look at myself, my self portarit, I always compare myself with someone i shouldn't compare myself to. But i just can't stop.

I can never seem to be strong enough to fight my greatest enemy... me.
I hate the fact that i'm letting it devour me, inch by inch. It hurts, to tell you the truth. It hurts to see myself amount to such a weak state. i can't seem to push myself up or to continue once i've already started. It annoys me, my laziness, how it can just paralyze my whole body and just cage my dreams to the corners of my mind; isolated and left alone to disappear into the unknown..

don't you think it's ironic how one's self can destroy you?

it just amazes me how no matter how much heroic speeches i've given myself for my own motivation i just can't seem to truly listen. i hate it.



I am blind.

I am deaf.

I am dumb.

My heart is cold to it's host.

I am at a dead end.

I am lost and I am crying out.

I am paralyzed and hurt.

I am choking and am slowly deteriorating.



..........

Will anyone be able to save me from myself?