Why

I wish my mind had some definite closure when it comes to you.
I wish it had an off button
for I hate
guessing
imagining
waiting
wondering
when it comes to this.

I know I did you wrong by making you wait
by making you hope;
all, of course, was unintentional.
I was clouded by self-confusion, too hung, too self-absorbed to notice you waiting.
I liked you too late.
Open to vulnerability at the last minute...
a minute too late.

I just wish my mind would put you to rest;
wishing that yours too did as well.

I have to admit
I wish we were just friends
that I never knew you liked me
and that you never liked me
not in that sense.

I changed when I found out.
I panicked
thinking that someone could actually like me.
Can you blame me? It's the naivety in me.

I'm sorry.

I really am.